The Roots of Early Learning

Build Strong Relationships

Before watching this video, read the text below. When instructed, watch the segment of video beginning at 0:00 and ending at 4:05.

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Strong relationships develop through shared experiences that build emotional connections, security, and trust. These relationships begin with respect for each other’s feelings, priorities, values, and ways of engaging with the world. They deepen over time as two people come to appreciate and trust each other.

Strong relationships with babies and young children begin with respectful, welcoming relationships with their families. Knowing a child’s family helps you to know the child. The family can supply much of the information you need in order to successfully connect with their child. Family members can show you what makes their child happy and how they comfort her when she is upset. They can share their cultural practices, values, and beliefs. They can also help you appreciate their child’s unique personality and ways of approaching new situations, people, and experiences.

When you and a parent have a good relationship, you can work together to support each other’s goals for the child. You can share information and ideas about the child’s day to-day activities, mood, and behavior; work out an approach together when you disagree about what is best for the child; and celebrate together when the child does something wonderful. When a child sees that her family and you feel good about each other and that you both feel good about her, she feels safe, secure, and confident.

• Identify a primary caregiver for each child. As primary caregiver, you can get to know both a child and the child’s family well. The family can help build a special bond between you and the child, and you can in turn help the child build relationships with other educators and with other children in the program.
• Partner with families. Establish good communication in both directions (from the family to you and from you to the family). Get to know what matters to each family, what their hopes and dreams are for their child, how their baby likes to be held and comforted, and what his favorite activities are at home. Share the behaviors, preferences, and learning experiences their child has in your program. Support each child’s connections to family as they say hello and goodbye each day and help children do special things for their families (for example, showing a new skill or making a simple gift). Invite each family to bring in family photos, songs, and stories to provide all children with culturally meaningful experiences.
• Get in tune with children. When you and a child are in tune, you have an emotional connection. You get in tune with a young baby as you take turns looking, vocalizing, and smiling in response to each other. You get in tune with an older infant or toddler as you engage in play together and as you listen intently to what the child wants to say. Even a young baby can sense when you are distracted. Although you can’t give every child your full attention every minute, you can stay aware of her needs and find opportunities to get to know her. As your relationship grows, you can begin to have powerful interactions—interactions in which you use your knowledge and observations to make mutually satisfying connections; then purposefully extends the child’s learning as you play together.

Watch the video segment. In this segment, you’ll see a focus on building relationships. You’ll see how the educators welcome families and make emotional connections with them, conveying the message that “I will do anything I can to be there for you and your baby.”

Begin at the start of the video and end at 4:03, when Kathy says, “Shake, shake.” As you watch, look for effective strategies used by the educators in the video and jot down answers to these viewing questions in your Learning Log.

• What do you notice about how the educators reach out to parents and make them feel welcome, respected, and heard?
• What do you notice about the way the educators and children make emotional connections with each other? How can you tell when they are in tune?
• What strategies do you notice the educators using to give children a sense of confidence, belonging, and continuity between home and child care?

Review

Why is it important for you to build strong relationships with children’s families?

• It is important because:
  • Families are the primary and enduring supports for children’s learning and development.
  • Families know their children best.
  • Knowing a child’s family helps you to know the child.
  • Families can help you understand how a child is used to being cared for, the language(s) she is used to hearing, how she is learning to communicate, and the values that are important to her family and in her cultural communities.
  • You can work together with families to support each other’s goals for the child.
  • A child feels safe, secure, and confident when she sees that her family members have a positive, trusting relationship with you.

How can you reach out to families and make them feel welcome?

• You can:
  • Make child care centers or homes personal, comfortable, and inviting with seating for guests, attractive displays, and a relaxed approach.
  • Invite families to visit any time and to stay as long as they want.
  • Offer to visit families in their homes.
  • Reach out to families and initiate conversations. (Recognize that some family members may be shy or uncomfortable at first.)
  • Share something wonderful about a child with her family, as often as possible.
  • Keep families informed about their child’s daily activities, preferences, learning discoveries, and significant events or concerns.
  • Find out each family’s communication preferences (when and how often; by phone, email, etc.) and provide your own contact information. Encourage communication in both directions.
  • Display photos and descriptions of children’s activities and creations for families to see.
  • Invite families to contribute family photos and items to classroom displays.
  • Invite families to share words, songs, stories, nursery rhymes, games, and recipes that will remind their children of home.
  • Show interest in family members’ lives—as individuals and as parents. Find out what matters to them: their needs, worries, and how the program and community might be able to support them.
  • Support the child’s connections to his family as they say goodbye and hello each day. Recognize and share how much their child loves them and the important roles they are playing in supporting his learning.
  • Help children do special things for their families (such as showing a new skill or making a simple gift).

How can educators get in tune with individual children as they talk and play together? How can they make powerful connections and purposefully support children’s learning?

• You can:
  • Watch a child’s face and adjust your tone, pace, and facial expressions to hold his interest.
  • Respond to a child’s communications and get him to respond to yours.
  • Match a child’s smiles, laughter, or excitement. Mirror his serious focus when he is working hard at something. Offer calming reassurance when he is upset.
  • Watch what a child reaches out for, what fascinates him, and who he likes to play with or near. Notice and acknowledge his interest, then help him explore it further.
  • Empathize with a child’s feelings and put his feelings into words.
  • Take cues from a child’s family about what a child may want to do, explore, or talk about.
  • Give the child full attention. Understand his agenda and find a way to make a connection and support what he is trying to do. Then add something that relates to his goal or activity but will also extend his learning.
  • Listen intently to what toddlers have to say and to what they communicate without words. You can help toddlers tell their stories by supplying missing words and details and by asking questions to check or further your understanding. 

Reflect

Think about the infants and toddlers in your own program as you answer these reflection questions in your Learning Log.

• How do you build strong relationships with families?
• How do you build strong relationships with children?
• What did you learn that you will take back to your learning environment and put into practice?